5th July 2006,
5.49pm Had a bad day, again- arguement with Choong. Dr Hafiz called up to check on the drugs- he suspect pharmacy give wrong instruction on drugs- warfarin. The patient INR reduce to 1.1, and he suspect the patient underdose. I check up the prescription- found out that the dose is 3mg, bottle is 2mg one tab once daily. I look at who did the error. Never my intention to pint point anyone. It's a team- the whole process wrong- to the whole team should bear the fault, yet 2 escape, did not sign on the Rx.
Choong so upset, heated arguement- saying me targeting her. She refuse to write. I felt so aweful. Whether it's mistake or not- it's not my point. My point is people don't want to take responsibility. I'm just so tired. It's never easy to say something bad in front of others. It always reflect the bad-guy, how bad I am, making others to hate me. I guess the whole department must hate me for being strict with things. I'm just so tired, rather it's better being 2nd pharmacist- or maybe it's my character that God is trying to change- pride? Stubburnness?
I know I should esteem others, praise others when they doing right. Yet I've not try. Maybe that's why people think all are the same, whether do good or not good, whether perform or not. How am I going to handle the staff? The seniors hate me so much. I just prayed yesterday- pray for the staff, pray for me to love people, pray for every staff to be blessed; yet now today I experience such unpleasant thing. What is God trying to do? He's meaning something with me. Pray and see changes- trials and fruits? Or don't pray let it go off naturally- no impact- complacent?
Anyhow, I'm standing firm in hIs Word, yes He is working. All things work for good for those who love Him. As long as I do according to His Spirit, His Wisdom, have faith things will change. Oh Lord, help me!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Monday, July 03, 2006
Fly again...
3rd July 2006,
5.48pm, Monday. Yes, I'm flying again- locally, next week to KL for PENSMA conference, followed by another week to Kuching. People said my job is so nice able to travel, yes indeed. Time to relax and out from work, to explore other places, meeting new people. How blessed. Plan to meet up wth old classmates.
Testimony Sunday. I guess EPCC is the only church with Testimony Sunday, and Fathering Pastor Conference. Our church believes in being instrument for God to touch community, nations and to the world. That can be reflect through our commitment in Missions, in Urban Street Outreach, and a lot other community outreach. To know God and make God known throughout the world. Making Jesus the Virtual reality. One time Ps. shared: God is going to do something great in EPCC, taking EPCC to a greater heights..he encouraged us to grasp and catch the vision and flow alongside, to jump in the flow, whether you want it or not, it's gonna come...and yes, indeed true, it's coming. God's annointing is here, so real in EPCC, it's here. How are we response? Those that running and jumping into the flow will just experience the wonderful things, how about those that lag behind?
A question to myself- how have I positioning myself? Hv I jumped in and get into the move? Or am I lagging behind? If I'm lagging behind- then, will I ever able to get in the track again? Mission trip to Nepal has closed- that is so awesome, to see EPCCian so excited to answer the call to reach the unreached- to the far end of the earth. I was contemplating whether to sign up when the church announce on the mission trip- and now it's close. It just dawn upon me that the opportunity will pass very fast if you don't grap it. Time passed- seize the day, seize the opportunity. If there's any tuck in your heart of doing something for God, don't just think and think and think, wait and wait and wait- just jump in the boat, believing God is the one that heed the rowing- He will guide the way.
Am I lagging behind? Move on, believing God will able to give 2nd chance. He will never fail to give us more opportunity. Get the right heart- be obedience to the call He has for you.
5.48pm, Monday. Yes, I'm flying again- locally, next week to KL for PENSMA conference, followed by another week to Kuching. People said my job is so nice able to travel, yes indeed. Time to relax and out from work, to explore other places, meeting new people. How blessed. Plan to meet up wth old classmates.
Testimony Sunday. I guess EPCC is the only church with Testimony Sunday, and Fathering Pastor Conference. Our church believes in being instrument for God to touch community, nations and to the world. That can be reflect through our commitment in Missions, in Urban Street Outreach, and a lot other community outreach. To know God and make God known throughout the world. Making Jesus the Virtual reality. One time Ps. shared: God is going to do something great in EPCC, taking EPCC to a greater heights..he encouraged us to grasp and catch the vision and flow alongside, to jump in the flow, whether you want it or not, it's gonna come...and yes, indeed true, it's coming. God's annointing is here, so real in EPCC, it's here. How are we response? Those that running and jumping into the flow will just experience the wonderful things, how about those that lag behind?
A question to myself- how have I positioning myself? Hv I jumped in and get into the move? Or am I lagging behind? If I'm lagging behind- then, will I ever able to get in the track again? Mission trip to Nepal has closed- that is so awesome, to see EPCCian so excited to answer the call to reach the unreached- to the far end of the earth. I was contemplating whether to sign up when the church announce on the mission trip- and now it's close. It just dawn upon me that the opportunity will pass very fast if you don't grap it. Time passed- seize the day, seize the opportunity. If there's any tuck in your heart of doing something for God, don't just think and think and think, wait and wait and wait- just jump in the boat, believing God is the one that heed the rowing- He will guide the way.
Am I lagging behind? Move on, believing God will able to give 2nd chance. He will never fail to give us more opportunity. Get the right heart- be obedience to the call He has for you.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Over and over again, ...You shower Your Love..
29th June 2006,
Yeah, end of June now. This morning got my payslip, 1/2 month bonus up, cool! Praise God. Next month will be Union discussion. Even though I'm not consider Union member, but if any positive discussion will give benefit to the Management staff as well. I hope that I will be qualify for the pay adjustment, not too sure, coz I'm by contract, so my basic will be the same every year for 3 years.
Just now Benji smsed me, invite me to attend CG tomorrow- will be held at Mawar. Hmmm, one thing I admire about Benji is his willingness, his passion for God's things. Even with his tight schedule, shift work- he will tried to make it for church, for prayer meet, for cell. It's always encouraging to know such passion, standing strong during heavy storm- hanging on to God whatever it takes, a childlike heart to trust God. Benji shared- God gonna do something great in the Cell. Yeah, he has the passion for cell, for people, to take up the Desa-U group when Eric and Matt's away. Holding the fork, standing in the frontline, willing to take the challenge, and allowing God to use him. I felt pretty ashamed of myself, never want to contribute anything for His Kingdom. Always giving excuses. Afraid to commit, afraid to draw near.
I'm always focusing on the weakness, not the strength, the negative and not the positive, the past and not the future- then how am I going to move on? Even with that Daddy still so patiently awaiting, over and over again- He shower His love upon me, like rian from above, He shower His love on me. Thank you Daddy, for bearing with me, patient with all my rebels, gracious and merciful with my undeserving and wretched behaviours. You're so worthy, so so worthy, no one compares to You, no one compares to You, Daddy. You're just so great. Thank You, thank You!
Yeah, end of June now. This morning got my payslip, 1/2 month bonus up, cool! Praise God. Next month will be Union discussion. Even though I'm not consider Union member, but if any positive discussion will give benefit to the Management staff as well. I hope that I will be qualify for the pay adjustment, not too sure, coz I'm by contract, so my basic will be the same every year for 3 years.
Just now Benji smsed me, invite me to attend CG tomorrow- will be held at Mawar. Hmmm, one thing I admire about Benji is his willingness, his passion for God's things. Even with his tight schedule, shift work- he will tried to make it for church, for prayer meet, for cell. It's always encouraging to know such passion, standing strong during heavy storm- hanging on to God whatever it takes, a childlike heart to trust God. Benji shared- God gonna do something great in the Cell. Yeah, he has the passion for cell, for people, to take up the Desa-U group when Eric and Matt's away. Holding the fork, standing in the frontline, willing to take the challenge, and allowing God to use him. I felt pretty ashamed of myself, never want to contribute anything for His Kingdom. Always giving excuses. Afraid to commit, afraid to draw near.
I'm always focusing on the weakness, not the strength, the negative and not the positive, the past and not the future- then how am I going to move on? Even with that Daddy still so patiently awaiting, over and over again- He shower His love upon me, like rian from above, He shower His love on me. Thank you Daddy, for bearing with me, patient with all my rebels, gracious and merciful with my undeserving and wretched behaviours. You're so worthy, so so worthy, no one compares to You, no one compares to You, Daddy. You're just so great. Thank You, thank You!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
June...
28th June 2006,
5.48pm in the office. Have not been writting my blog for a month plus. Nothing much to share. Work is alright, but has been quite routine. Charmine has left, further her study- doing Master in Pharmacy in USM. She has been great colleague, I appreciate her so much, a nice person, pleasant attitude, and eager to learn and to work her best. Too bad she's attached, or else wanna introduce to Marcus:P
As for June, nothing really much. I felt as my life has been fleeting away. Has announced to my Cell that I'm officially released to go other CGs. Many had asked which cell that I planned to join? I have no idea, I really don't know which one. Have been taking long time to float around, and it's really not good, not healthy spiritually. I've been going out a lot with others- A2J, Zionist, those that I'm familiar with, but...I guess it's just not enough, there's just something lacking there. Well, I know I got to do something, not just let time pass and fly away, wasting every moments. Yet, I just don't wanna do anything, allowing the time to drag and passed and on and on. It's really a waste. I searching, wandering what I'm doing? What I'm actually doing right now? Have I been a good steward for Christ? No! I'm not. Have I been a good boss, a testimony to the rest, and point others to Jesus? No, I've not, Have I been a good daughter? No! I'm not.... Pastor's message past few weeks is really good- being son before being a Father. Learn to be sons and daughters FIRST. That's the first call. And the knocking is there, knock knock, my Heavenly Daddy is knocking at the door of my heart each day. It's just me, whether am I ready to let Him in?
Benji's daddy just passed away couple days ago. I'm so shock by the news, a day after Fathers' Day, and a day after we have dinner together. The funeral was solemn, I can feel his heart hurting, I can identify with his feeling, I really can, but I really don't know what to do. We can't do anything, but just pray and stand by him. Thats' all we can do. I miss daddy so much. Reflect back the time of his last breath. Seem so tough outside, but inside just broken, yet life goes on. Yeah, all things work for good for those who loves God, who has been called according to His plan and promises. Yet at this point, I still wonder...what is Your good plan for me? Yes, I know You are good, always good, but wht's next?
Esther smsed and emailed me last week, She want to include me in the intercessors list on the Sri Lanka trip. Oh Gosh...I told her, well..I can pray, but to intercede again? I'm jsut not sure. Anyway, yes...I've agreed to pray and uphold the whole team during their Sri Lanka trip. I guess the Lord is challenging me. Minister to Him before Man, and probably this is where I've lack. I wanna fall in love with Him again....But, ...oh Shirley, there's no "but"....just do it, fall in love with Him again, allow Him to touch you, to pamper you, to love you, receive that love- the love of the everlasting Father...even all may failed but His love Never fails, Never!
5.48pm in the office. Have not been writting my blog for a month plus. Nothing much to share. Work is alright, but has been quite routine. Charmine has left, further her study- doing Master in Pharmacy in USM. She has been great colleague, I appreciate her so much, a nice person, pleasant attitude, and eager to learn and to work her best. Too bad she's attached, or else wanna introduce to Marcus:P
As for June, nothing really much. I felt as my life has been fleeting away. Has announced to my Cell that I'm officially released to go other CGs. Many had asked which cell that I planned to join? I have no idea, I really don't know which one. Have been taking long time to float around, and it's really not good, not healthy spiritually. I've been going out a lot with others- A2J, Zionist, those that I'm familiar with, but...I guess it's just not enough, there's just something lacking there. Well, I know I got to do something, not just let time pass and fly away, wasting every moments. Yet, I just don't wanna do anything, allowing the time to drag and passed and on and on. It's really a waste. I searching, wandering what I'm doing? What I'm actually doing right now? Have I been a good steward for Christ? No! I'm not. Have I been a good boss, a testimony to the rest, and point others to Jesus? No, I've not, Have I been a good daughter? No! I'm not.... Pastor's message past few weeks is really good- being son before being a Father. Learn to be sons and daughters FIRST. That's the first call. And the knocking is there, knock knock, my Heavenly Daddy is knocking at the door of my heart each day. It's just me, whether am I ready to let Him in?
Benji's daddy just passed away couple days ago. I'm so shock by the news, a day after Fathers' Day, and a day after we have dinner together. The funeral was solemn, I can feel his heart hurting, I can identify with his feeling, I really can, but I really don't know what to do. We can't do anything, but just pray and stand by him. Thats' all we can do. I miss daddy so much. Reflect back the time of his last breath. Seem so tough outside, but inside just broken, yet life goes on. Yeah, all things work for good for those who loves God, who has been called according to His plan and promises. Yet at this point, I still wonder...what is Your good plan for me? Yes, I know You are good, always good, but wht's next?
Esther smsed and emailed me last week, She want to include me in the intercessors list on the Sri Lanka trip. Oh Gosh...I told her, well..I can pray, but to intercede again? I'm jsut not sure. Anyway, yes...I've agreed to pray and uphold the whole team during their Sri Lanka trip. I guess the Lord is challenging me. Minister to Him before Man, and probably this is where I've lack. I wanna fall in love with Him again....But, ...oh Shirley, there's no "but"....just do it, fall in love with Him again, allow Him to touch you, to pamper you, to love you, receive that love- the love of the everlasting Father...even all may failed but His love Never fails, Never!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Wednesday...Pretty normal
24th May 2006,
5.22pm. Wednesday- pretty normal. Work is routine. Nothing exciting, dealing with sales and doctors, get a hang of it. Quite alright, ups and downs. Just have to be more focus on the changing in HOC- waiting for Management to give me new space for expansion.
Today not feeling well, got headache. Menses has been over yet not feeling good. Wonder why. Yeah, pharmacist also can get sick- then sick don't wanna take medicine. Tomorrow will be watching Da Vinci Code for the 2nd time. Not pretty like the show, too much of historical inputs, kinda confusing. Maybe this second time will able to understand more.
Oh dear headache, got to go- not much to write. Going off...write soon!
5.22pm. Wednesday- pretty normal. Work is routine. Nothing exciting, dealing with sales and doctors, get a hang of it. Quite alright, ups and downs. Just have to be more focus on the changing in HOC- waiting for Management to give me new space for expansion.
Today not feeling well, got headache. Menses has been over yet not feeling good. Wonder why. Yeah, pharmacist also can get sick- then sick don't wanna take medicine. Tomorrow will be watching Da Vinci Code for the 2nd time. Not pretty like the show, too much of historical inputs, kinda confusing. Maybe this second time will able to understand more.
Oh dear headache, got to go- not much to write. Going off...write soon!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Singapore Trip
23th May 2006,
6.22pm Tues. 2 days back from Singapore. Basically the trip was really exciting and challenging. Working with Singaporean and getting to know their culture and environment, opens up my perspective. Singapore is a nice place to work- with it's systematic, fast pace and higher standrad environement.
I was attached to National Cencer Centre for a week. First day itself seem to be lonely, don't know much people, difficult to connect. Meet up with Olivia and Pentium, seen Pentium's wife. Got the news that Olivia is 4 months pregnant. Hmm...good to catch up. Life goes on, learning the system, learning the skill and technique. Getting to know what the Pharmacist in Sinpaore does. Very much motivating.
Did something brave- exploring Nite Safari on my own, shopping and venturing the area all by myself. Sometimes just feel, wah...am so tough- daring to explore lat night. Nothing much to share here- basically I'm not a person that love to travel and explore new things, I'm more the the homely type- but my job sometimes require me to travel for seminar. I don't mind travelling with frens but not alone. This trip has taught me to learn to enjoy the things I do alone. And probably yes, and I got to learn that. Sometimes, there are things that can be enjoyed doing alone, and there are some with frens.
At this season- I'm learning to handle loneliness. Yeah, Loneliness...I did shared with mum, sometimes, many times- there're this void, loneliness, just couldn't explain it. Never felt it before, it's more crucial at this season. Probably is the distance from God, distance from the fellowships...or it's normal, or is it normal natural thing that most people will surely go thru'...well, I really don't know. People said- Seek God, let God fills you, He complete the void and He satisfied. I understand that, I know...yet it isn't easy for me now. What should I do? How shoudl I positioning myself? Pray, just pray? Just pray..that's the only thing you can possibly do, wait on God, pray- open eye big big, and be yourself. Yeah...another: Delight yourself in the Lord for He will grant you the desire of your heart. That's the first thing to do, to delight in Him, to be satisfied in Him first, and seek Him first- then the rest be added...
Oh Lord, how far I've wander away from You- how far I've been running, and toasting and banging and falling, up and down. How long? How far? So many things Lord- I've gone off too far, can You still rescue me? Too many dirt, a filthy rags I am....how to delight in You Lord? Help me, rekindle that fire again.
6.22pm Tues. 2 days back from Singapore. Basically the trip was really exciting and challenging. Working with Singaporean and getting to know their culture and environment, opens up my perspective. Singapore is a nice place to work- with it's systematic, fast pace and higher standrad environement.
I was attached to National Cencer Centre for a week. First day itself seem to be lonely, don't know much people, difficult to connect. Meet up with Olivia and Pentium, seen Pentium's wife. Got the news that Olivia is 4 months pregnant. Hmm...good to catch up. Life goes on, learning the system, learning the skill and technique. Getting to know what the Pharmacist in Sinpaore does. Very much motivating.
Did something brave- exploring Nite Safari on my own, shopping and venturing the area all by myself. Sometimes just feel, wah...am so tough- daring to explore lat night. Nothing much to share here- basically I'm not a person that love to travel and explore new things, I'm more the the homely type- but my job sometimes require me to travel for seminar. I don't mind travelling with frens but not alone. This trip has taught me to learn to enjoy the things I do alone. And probably yes, and I got to learn that. Sometimes, there are things that can be enjoyed doing alone, and there are some with frens.
At this season- I'm learning to handle loneliness. Yeah, Loneliness...I did shared with mum, sometimes, many times- there're this void, loneliness, just couldn't explain it. Never felt it before, it's more crucial at this season. Probably is the distance from God, distance from the fellowships...or it's normal, or is it normal natural thing that most people will surely go thru'...well, I really don't know. People said- Seek God, let God fills you, He complete the void and He satisfied. I understand that, I know...yet it isn't easy for me now. What should I do? How shoudl I positioning myself? Pray, just pray? Just pray..that's the only thing you can possibly do, wait on God, pray- open eye big big, and be yourself. Yeah...another: Delight yourself in the Lord for He will grant you the desire of your heart. That's the first thing to do, to delight in Him, to be satisfied in Him first, and seek Him first- then the rest be added...
Oh Lord, how far I've wander away from You- how far I've been running, and toasting and banging and falling, up and down. How long? How far? So many things Lord- I've gone off too far, can You still rescue me? Too many dirt, a filthy rags I am....how to delight in You Lord? Help me, rekindle that fire again.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Changi Airport...Going Back
20th May 2006,
It's Saturday 3pm, I'm at Changi Airport...has been a week in Singapore, what an experience. Wow, miss home, miss Malaysia. Singapore experience has been good, learn so much in NCC. Going a lot places- but all by myself, explore my own. Went to Nite Safari, coz everyone asked me to try..well, not bad, but...kinda dark, can't able to capture much picture there. They don't allow to snap with flash, but without flash picture can't be clear.
Experience in NCC is just priceless. I learned a lot on their system and workflow. They had 4 pharmcist, plus Lita will be 5's in Onco unit and another 4 more I guess is in Retail. The pharmacist there pretty busy, with a lot work...wow, I have a lot things in plan for my Onco Unit, hopefully I'll able to make use of what I learn and apply it and improve t in my setting...
Gee...got to get going, dun wanna miss flight. Talk soon. Will post many picture soon. Ta...
It's Saturday 3pm, I'm at Changi Airport...has been a week in Singapore, what an experience. Wow, miss home, miss Malaysia. Singapore experience has been good, learn so much in NCC. Going a lot places- but all by myself, explore my own. Went to Nite Safari, coz everyone asked me to try..well, not bad, but...kinda dark, can't able to capture much picture there. They don't allow to snap with flash, but without flash picture can't be clear.
Experience in NCC is just priceless. I learned a lot on their system and workflow. They had 4 pharmcist, plus Lita will be 5's in Onco unit and another 4 more I guess is in Retail. The pharmacist there pretty busy, with a lot work...wow, I have a lot things in plan for my Onco Unit, hopefully I'll able to make use of what I learn and apply it and improve t in my setting...
Gee...got to get going, dun wanna miss flight. Talk soon. Will post many picture soon. Ta...
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Love is in the Air..
9th May 2006,
6.10pm Tuesday evening. In the hospital- tomorrow Ms Tan on leave, I'll be bz. Nothing much to write in the blog. Another wedding just over- Jo's wedding, she's definately so blessed. Hmm...love is in the air, lovely lovely lovely. How is my love life progressing? Wondering- always like the wrong guy- it just doesn't work. One hand clapping don't make any sound. It just doesn't work- got to move on, just move on. Appreciate what is in front, treasure and enjoy the friendship around. Press on and not afraid to love again. Dance like no one is watching, and love as never get hurt.
Lonely but never alone. Take up the promises. Live up a purposeful life- enjoy the singleood. Trusting God will provide. Amen!
6.10pm Tuesday evening. In the hospital- tomorrow Ms Tan on leave, I'll be bz. Nothing much to write in the blog. Another wedding just over- Jo's wedding, she's definately so blessed. Hmm...love is in the air, lovely lovely lovely. How is my love life progressing? Wondering- always like the wrong guy- it just doesn't work. One hand clapping don't make any sound. It just doesn't work- got to move on, just move on. Appreciate what is in front, treasure and enjoy the friendship around. Press on and not afraid to love again. Dance like no one is watching, and love as never get hurt.
Lonely but never alone. Take up the promises. Live up a purposeful life- enjoy the singleood. Trusting God will provide. Amen!
01-02-03-04-05-06
9th May 2006,
Wow, it's May. Time flies, indeed time flies. Recapturing back May 4th- I'm aging...Oh dear, I dislike thinking on my birthday approaching, yucks..I'm growing old :( sob sob. 01-02-03-04-05-06 is the countdown for me, but to be exact my birthday is 1.55am 4th of May 19xx...got to hide my birth-year hahaha....
I was on-leave that day. Went out morning 9am-7pm, first bought a newspaper- went to Mc-D, order my Mc-D breakfast and eat, and read...tadaaa...times up, 9.45am, cool..on my way to Prangin Mall. The shops still closed, and I'm just lepakking around the area, without plan, without focus, just loitering around. Then shops open- goodie goodie...shop shop, try this and that. Ooops, this is too tight, not good. Here, this is cool, I look gorgeous, spend spend spend. Then, reach eraing shop- yeah...:) I finally pierce my 2nd earlobe holes. Pain pain, but pretty pretty- looks wild. Cool. Then I went to Montage Hair Style at Pelita- hightlight hair, copper red, charge me RM125. Never ever spend that money on my hair...it's just a hair, why wanna spend so much? Wah...Shirley know how to pamper herself now. Looks cool, looks good.
That's my day. Spending, loitering, enjoying the exploration. Nite- Had dinner with the group- Roland, Marcus, Helena, Felix..my good buddy. Quite happy...
Nothing much also, a reflection of my 2x over years on the earth, how that I accomplished in this race that i run. Am I running well- the way I should be running, not beating the air, not in vain? Else the Christ death will be in vain- He paid the price for me, how should I live?
Wow, it's May. Time flies, indeed time flies. Recapturing back May 4th- I'm aging...Oh dear, I dislike thinking on my birthday approaching, yucks..I'm growing old :( sob sob. 01-02-03-04-05-06 is the countdown for me, but to be exact my birthday is 1.55am 4th of May 19xx...got to hide my birth-year hahaha....
I was on-leave that day. Went out morning 9am-7pm, first bought a newspaper- went to Mc-D, order my Mc-D breakfast and eat, and read...tadaaa...times up, 9.45am, cool..on my way to Prangin Mall. The shops still closed, and I'm just lepakking around the area, without plan, without focus, just loitering around. Then shops open- goodie goodie...shop shop, try this and that. Ooops, this is too tight, not good. Here, this is cool, I look gorgeous, spend spend spend. Then, reach eraing shop- yeah...:) I finally pierce my 2nd earlobe holes. Pain pain, but pretty pretty- looks wild. Cool. Then I went to Montage Hair Style at Pelita- hightlight hair, copper red, charge me RM125. Never ever spend that money on my hair...it's just a hair, why wanna spend so much? Wah...Shirley know how to pamper herself now. Looks cool, looks good.
That's my day. Spending, loitering, enjoying the exploration. Nite- Had dinner with the group- Roland, Marcus, Helena, Felix..my good buddy. Quite happy...
Nothing much also, a reflection of my 2x over years on the earth, how that I accomplished in this race that i run. Am I running well- the way I should be running, not beating the air, not in vain? Else the Christ death will be in vain- He paid the price for me, how should I live?
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Home Alone
2th May 2006,
7.00pm Tuesday. Login for blogging. Just back from Fitness Studio. Doing threadmill and roller and cycling. Didn't really sweat. I think I sweat more in Hilton than this one. But it's okiela, Harvey accompany me there- he's thnking of joining, and asked me to join. But fees too high, RM120 a month, and to commit for 6 mths, I don't think I can afford. Even if I can afford, I don't think I will want to spend such money on gym, where exercise can actually do it naturally- hike or jog around, or swim. Sunnyville swimming pool only go once a while, not even once a month. Hmm...better not involve this, even tho' sort of tempting, when frens asked- to join and tone the muscle. Hmm...dunno lah. Getting fatter and fatter it seems, quite lazy and stale. Must find something challenging to do, or else will become piglet, stay home and eat and linger around- very not effective.
Mum has been away for few days, since last week, she'll be away for 10days, so 10 days I'll be home alone, sleeping in the queen size bed, cook on own, alone. Too used to mum being around me, don't seem to feel lonely without a partner, now...can sense the difference with her absence. Yeah...miss mum.
7.15pm, still in hospital- will go off after this blog. Go back not sure wht to eat, maybe will cook for myself spaghetti, yucks...that reminds me of the stories of the Pr. sermon. Pasta- wow, very rich. After workout eat again- how to loose weight? Hangat hangat tahi ayam only...aduh Shirley. Looking at the mirror, the reflection of Shirley- hmm....fatty fatty boom boom. Aduh, how how how- how to kill that fats? :( sucks. Got to increase my metabolism. Keep going Shirley, you can do it.
Home alone. Mum in Johor with sis, went to Singapore last 2 days. This moring conversation seems very interesting. Sister likes to travel- bringing mum around- Sentosa Island, Orchard Road, etc...wow, I not ven been to Singapore. Will be going out of Malaysia for the first time this coming 14th. Ohh....a bit scary tho' all alone, not so adventurous. Shirley Shirley- as if kampung girl masuk city only...aduh!...Hmm...hope things be good. Hmm, alright la, time's up. Going off now. Blessed day!
7.00pm Tuesday. Login for blogging. Just back from Fitness Studio. Doing threadmill and roller and cycling. Didn't really sweat. I think I sweat more in Hilton than this one. But it's okiela, Harvey accompany me there- he's thnking of joining, and asked me to join. But fees too high, RM120 a month, and to commit for 6 mths, I don't think I can afford. Even if I can afford, I don't think I will want to spend such money on gym, where exercise can actually do it naturally- hike or jog around, or swim. Sunnyville swimming pool only go once a while, not even once a month. Hmm...better not involve this, even tho' sort of tempting, when frens asked- to join and tone the muscle. Hmm...dunno lah. Getting fatter and fatter it seems, quite lazy and stale. Must find something challenging to do, or else will become piglet, stay home and eat and linger around- very not effective.
Mum has been away for few days, since last week, she'll be away for 10days, so 10 days I'll be home alone, sleeping in the queen size bed, cook on own, alone. Too used to mum being around me, don't seem to feel lonely without a partner, now...can sense the difference with her absence. Yeah...miss mum.
7.15pm, still in hospital- will go off after this blog. Go back not sure wht to eat, maybe will cook for myself spaghetti, yucks...that reminds me of the stories of the Pr. sermon. Pasta- wow, very rich. After workout eat again- how to loose weight? Hangat hangat tahi ayam only...aduh Shirley. Looking at the mirror, the reflection of Shirley- hmm....fatty fatty boom boom. Aduh, how how how- how to kill that fats? :( sucks. Got to increase my metabolism. Keep going Shirley, you can do it.
Home alone. Mum in Johor with sis, went to Singapore last 2 days. This moring conversation seems very interesting. Sister likes to travel- bringing mum around- Sentosa Island, Orchard Road, etc...wow, I not ven been to Singapore. Will be going out of Malaysia for the first time this coming 14th. Ohh....a bit scary tho' all alone, not so adventurous. Shirley Shirley- as if kampung girl masuk city only...aduh!...Hmm...hope things be good. Hmm, alright la, time's up. Going off now. Blessed day!
Monday, April 24, 2006
Covenantal Conspiracy
24th April 2006,
5.59pm Monday, after work, waiting for Procare to starting printing report, system too slow. Wonder the report printing will reduce the speed of the system. Gonna change system soon- can't wait, excited yet quite fearful- surely a lot of unexpected problems. Got to be ready for that. Today is okie, had dinner with Harvey- he belanja me eat Japanese food- more than a hundred ringgit bills. Sweet talker, I'm playing a fool with him, he challenge to pay registration for Fitness First Centre if I can consistently doing exercise there- can't believe what he said- cakap kosong- pretty unfruitful.
Charmine back from her long holidays, don't have the time to talk to her- she gonna resign soon, her last day will be 28th June, not sure how she's feeling. Magdalene should be doing well. Hope so, am always concious of how I have been as a boss to them- whether am doing well, or wht's the expectation of others on me. Yeah, talking about expectation- just a few days ago, a ffiend of mine just giving me some remarks on how I hv put high expectation on others. I admit that I do, and I learn from it, see through ones strength and not the weaknesses. Do to others how others do to you, am I wanting others to put expectation on me? If not, I should not have expect others.
Saturday service was great. Pr message was so strong- about the Covenantal Conspiracy, taken from Amos 8:11-14
11 "The days are coming," declares the Sovereign LORD, "when I will send a famine through the land—not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD.
12 Men will stagger from sea to sea and wander from north to east, searching for the word of the LORD, but they will not find it.
13 "In that day "the lovely young women and strong young men will faint because of thirst.
14 They who swear by the shame [b] of Samaria, or say, 'As surely as your god lives, O Dan,' or, 'As surely as the god [c] of Beersheba lives'— they will fall, never to rise again."
It struck my heart. We have been taking the Word of God so lightly, the love letter of God so lightly- Pr Sam described how's a life of a Bible if it's written in a diary- saddening. How have we wondered from loving His Word? How have we allowing the world to enter in the church? How how have we response in religious hypocrisy in attending church and in serving? Will it come a time- the Lord will take away His Word from us? Not a famine of food or thirst of water, but a famine of the hearing of the Word of God. Will there be a time, when we search for His Word, His saying, and found none? Yes- It's written in the book of Amos. Now that we have His Word, do we wanna wait till it come a time where we seek and can't find His Words- and die of thrist? Spiritual thirst?
Oh Abba Father, forgive me if I've not been loving Your Words, and living out Your Words the way it should. Forgive me for the disobedience of Your commandment, and the deceived of my heart, forgive me for the heart of stone, rejecting Your Words when it's there- available to dispense. Forgive me for the hardenning and critical mindset, rejecting what is good. Help me Lord, Help me to know You are near. Help me to draw nearer to Your Words daily, and Living it out. Not just a hearer Father, but doers of Your Words, able to stand in obedience. Lord....please don't take Your Words away, please don't cause the famine of Your Words, I will never able to bear it, in the time You take it away. Let Your sweet Words be a live to my soul. Where can we go from Your presence Lord, for You hold the Word of eternal life. You are the only One that hold the Word of eternal life, and I thirst for Your Words Lord,,Now..I thirst for You to speak in me Father....Lord, I commit this life to You- help me to grow in love with You again- renew my heart, a heart of flesh and not a heart of stone. Amen!
5.59pm Monday, after work, waiting for Procare to starting printing report, system too slow. Wonder the report printing will reduce the speed of the system. Gonna change system soon- can't wait, excited yet quite fearful- surely a lot of unexpected problems. Got to be ready for that. Today is okie, had dinner with Harvey- he belanja me eat Japanese food- more than a hundred ringgit bills. Sweet talker, I'm playing a fool with him, he challenge to pay registration for Fitness First Centre if I can consistently doing exercise there- can't believe what he said- cakap kosong- pretty unfruitful.
Charmine back from her long holidays, don't have the time to talk to her- she gonna resign soon, her last day will be 28th June, not sure how she's feeling. Magdalene should be doing well. Hope so, am always concious of how I have been as a boss to them- whether am doing well, or wht's the expectation of others on me. Yeah, talking about expectation- just a few days ago, a ffiend of mine just giving me some remarks on how I hv put high expectation on others. I admit that I do, and I learn from it, see through ones strength and not the weaknesses. Do to others how others do to you, am I wanting others to put expectation on me? If not, I should not have expect others.
Saturday service was great. Pr message was so strong- about the Covenantal Conspiracy, taken from Amos 8:11-14
11 "The days are coming," declares the Sovereign LORD, "when I will send a famine through the land—not a famine of food or a thirst for water, but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD.
12 Men will stagger from sea to sea and wander from north to east, searching for the word of the LORD, but they will not find it.
13 "In that day "the lovely young women and strong young men will faint because of thirst.
14 They who swear by the shame [b] of Samaria, or say, 'As surely as your god lives, O Dan,' or, 'As surely as the god [c] of Beersheba lives'— they will fall, never to rise again."
It struck my heart. We have been taking the Word of God so lightly, the love letter of God so lightly- Pr Sam described how's a life of a Bible if it's written in a diary- saddening. How have we wondered from loving His Word? How have we allowing the world to enter in the church? How how have we response in religious hypocrisy in attending church and in serving? Will it come a time- the Lord will take away His Word from us? Not a famine of food or thirst of water, but a famine of the hearing of the Word of God. Will there be a time, when we search for His Word, His saying, and found none? Yes- It's written in the book of Amos. Now that we have His Word, do we wanna wait till it come a time where we seek and can't find His Words- and die of thrist? Spiritual thirst?
Oh Abba Father, forgive me if I've not been loving Your Words, and living out Your Words the way it should. Forgive me for the disobedience of Your commandment, and the deceived of my heart, forgive me for the heart of stone, rejecting Your Words when it's there- available to dispense. Forgive me for the hardenning and critical mindset, rejecting what is good. Help me Lord, Help me to know You are near. Help me to draw nearer to Your Words daily, and Living it out. Not just a hearer Father, but doers of Your Words, able to stand in obedience. Lord....please don't take Your Words away, please don't cause the famine of Your Words, I will never able to bear it, in the time You take it away. Let Your sweet Words be a live to my soul. Where can we go from Your presence Lord, for You hold the Word of eternal life. You are the only One that hold the Word of eternal life, and I thirst for Your Words Lord,,Now..I thirst for You to speak in me Father....Lord, I commit this life to You- help me to grow in love with You again- renew my heart, a heart of flesh and not a heart of stone. Amen!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I'm held by Your Love, I'm held by Your strength
19th April 2006,
5.36pm- Wednesday evening, in the office. Has been a while didn't write blog, since PH till now. Work has been usual, Charmine and Toh still on-leave. Just had Department Meeting, still insufficient staff. Nothing much about work, had lunch with Lem (Merck), and Serene. Waiting to go Singapore another few weeks time, haven't make passport. Got to make time do to it, or else my HR will kill me:P
Yesterday went for MLM, Million Leaders Mandate, a course conducted for all leaders. Our church has been good- always wanting to equip and develop the leaders. Ps. Sam is a visionary man, planning and strategising for future expansion. The traning was conducted by Un. Daniel, with his hoarse voice he still able to pull through delivering the message. The topic on Leader's Heart. Interesting. During discussion time I'm sort of award, when people sharing about what is the excuses on not in the leadership, etc. I just don't know how to share. Stepping down in leadership..yeah, Eric must really have hard time bearing with me. Now I've not been actively involving in Cell, just a normal attender, and in search of new cell. Many asked me, which cell I'm going to join? I've no idea, don't know how to answer them. Marcus approached me asked me to consider joining them, to help in mentoring the members, more of support. I appreciate that he still remember the Shirley before...but, well..I don't think A2J or Zion will be in my shopping list, well, dunno maybe will, maybe not, but most probably not. The fellowship is great, I'm quite attached and close with the members, yet something within me is yeilding for more, more than a fellowship- I want more than a fellowship, that's wht I know....wht is that? If not fellowship- which other cell can offer? What did you want, Shirley? I'm asking myself. I really don't know- Words, Works, something that can bang in my Spirit that I can be passionate again? Seriousness? ...does it means Desa-U and A2J or Zion not serious? How serious you want? I'm asking myself. I want to some different environment to grow, to grow again. Attaching back to any of the groups will never let me grow..that's wht I think....
I was just like a free bird now, flying and wandering around- soaring up and down, a lonely tiny little bird, searching for more. But I know He has something for me, I'm assured of that- that I'm held by His Love, I'm held by His strength...Pray with me, those who read my blog- that I will able to find a place, to serve with joy, to minister to Him and to people, and to grow in Him in Grace....
After MLM, had supper with Roland and Yueh Nee, we discussed about relationship again- I was saying to them- yeah, am waiting for God to drop one from the sky, God willing. Exploring the possibilities- Roland suggested a few from EPCC, hmmm.....seems hopeless, yet I have the "living" hope in Him, Amen for that! :PP
5.36pm- Wednesday evening, in the office. Has been a while didn't write blog, since PH till now. Work has been usual, Charmine and Toh still on-leave. Just had Department Meeting, still insufficient staff. Nothing much about work, had lunch with Lem (Merck), and Serene. Waiting to go Singapore another few weeks time, haven't make passport. Got to make time do to it, or else my HR will kill me:P
Yesterday went for MLM, Million Leaders Mandate, a course conducted for all leaders. Our church has been good- always wanting to equip and develop the leaders. Ps. Sam is a visionary man, planning and strategising for future expansion. The traning was conducted by Un. Daniel, with his hoarse voice he still able to pull through delivering the message. The topic on Leader's Heart. Interesting. During discussion time I'm sort of award, when people sharing about what is the excuses on not in the leadership, etc. I just don't know how to share. Stepping down in leadership..yeah, Eric must really have hard time bearing with me. Now I've not been actively involving in Cell, just a normal attender, and in search of new cell. Many asked me, which cell I'm going to join? I've no idea, don't know how to answer them. Marcus approached me asked me to consider joining them, to help in mentoring the members, more of support. I appreciate that he still remember the Shirley before...but, well..I don't think A2J or Zion will be in my shopping list, well, dunno maybe will, maybe not, but most probably not. The fellowship is great, I'm quite attached and close with the members, yet something within me is yeilding for more, more than a fellowship- I want more than a fellowship, that's wht I know....wht is that? If not fellowship- which other cell can offer? What did you want, Shirley? I'm asking myself. I really don't know- Words, Works, something that can bang in my Spirit that I can be passionate again? Seriousness? ...does it means Desa-U and A2J or Zion not serious? How serious you want? I'm asking myself. I want to some different environment to grow, to grow again. Attaching back to any of the groups will never let me grow..that's wht I think....
I was just like a free bird now, flying and wandering around- soaring up and down, a lonely tiny little bird, searching for more. But I know He has something for me, I'm assured of that- that I'm held by His Love, I'm held by His strength...Pray with me, those who read my blog- that I will able to find a place, to serve with joy, to minister to Him and to people, and to grow in Him in Grace....
After MLM, had supper with Roland and Yueh Nee, we discussed about relationship again- I was saying to them- yeah, am waiting for God to drop one from the sky, God willing. Exploring the possibilities- Roland suggested a few from EPCC, hmmm.....seems hopeless, yet I have the "living" hope in Him, Amen for that! :PP
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Resting PH: Happening and Relaxing
12th April 2006,
6.14pm Wed evening. Still in the office- waiting for Lisa to call to confirm on tonites' dinner venue. Just now management meeting, heard that Mr. Koh's wife met accident, so he went off early- therefore Ivan conduct the meeting. Not much of discussion going on. Matron Teoh, Matron Lim and Dr. George bombarded me to help Casualty on drug dispensing- trying to pressure Pharmacy to open longer hours. Am quiet, don't know how to stand for the department- Thank God Ivan sided me- give a neutral opinion, to think out of box and see things in bigger picture- to evaluate the data, on the cost effectiveness. Pharmacy Department wrking well I guess. Toh brought up an issue on putting more staff during Sunday, is there a need- when they can't furnish me with data? Has been hearing the staff grumbling of stress and high work load. But how about the low time when people are chatting away? Lord- grant me Your wisdom in this matter- hw to resolve this. I plan to do a spot-check this Sunday- will miss the Easter celebration- will attend Saturday service, and Sunday plan to go hospital, see how busy we are.
Yesterday is a PH. Mum joined my friends for Youth Park Hike. Surprisingly, she's so fit, can climb and reach the destination faster than us. She enjoyed herself, yeah... The rest of the group climbed up to Pg Hill, but we did not join. We only reach No-3# and later on hike down to hv breakfast opposite Ping Hwa High school, then later to bank to deposit my cheque, then head back home. Reached home collapsed on the coach, fall asleep in the midst of watching Da Vinci Code by RBC. So tired, wake up have lunch- then bath and continue Da VinciCode- Fact or Fiction. Later on do some paper work on documents for Income Tax, then time's up to fetch Lisa from airport.
7.50pm Airport. Meet up with Lisa- we had dinner at Hakka Mee Stall. Had quite a long chat. To my surprise, Lisa been so opened to me, she shared a lot on her past relationship, on the requirement topray for a life partner. I was so surprise how she can share this personal issue with me even tho' we're quite newly meet. The first question she asked during the dinner: "So..have you meet your Adam?". Oh dear...I was kinda uncomfortable discussion on relationship issue, yet she brought up this personal question. She said that on her way to Penang, she just feel that she wanna share on relationship. I'm not sure- whether is it God sending her to tell me something? Yes, I do praying for a life partner, but am not earnestly pray. Lisa said, you got to earnestly pray and list down your critera to God, so that when the right person come along the way, then God will help you to be sensitive to receive it. I disagree. I have my set of criteria, but to list it down specifically one by one to God- I don't think it's necessary. It's like limiting God and positioning myself in desperate moment. Well, I wonder through am I desperate? What is the level of my desperation? I listen to the DVD by Ps Prince from Singapore about finding right partner- that desperation will bring us to settle for any. Oh No! I don't want to come to the situation which I'm settling for anyone- Tom Dick and Harry, No Lord- He knows my heart. Some of the sharing do ring some truth, in positioning to receive the "Right'" one when it comes, yet the issue of "Right" one..I'm not pretty agree. I don't believe in one and only right one, and when I miss it means I'll get the second best. I believe of God have our best interest at heart, and He will wants to give the best- as compatible to us, when it seems fit- only if we incline to Him. Incline and yeilding to Him, yet be discern and sensitive of His leading and understanding our own self. I don't know- I've been praying, but am I earnestly pray? What's the meaning- earnestly? How earnestly? Everyday bangging on heaven's door and ask God to give me a life partner? No- course not, pray for God to work on the person- in passion and purity, in His right time, we will meet. And let His peace guard my heart- with assurance of His love and promises. I believe God knows best my heart, and I don't think to list down every single details from A-Zs is a good idea- I'm not limiting God, I'm trusting Him, my Abba Father. Sometimes it's not easy, pressure do comes, yet got to surrender the heart. My prayer is Lord, guard my heart- for it's the well spring of life. Let me not simply give my heart to anyone, not anyone- close it tight, and surrender to You, and You will open my heart when it's the right time, to the right person...Right person? Hmm...you know best, I know best, somehow we will know.
After dinner- Lisa joined my frens Bday party at Hidden Cafe- wow, such long table, I think got about 20 over people. I introduce Lisa to Roland, and Marcus sitting beside me, and others. It's Helena's birthday- Felix was around too, but has not been talking to him for long. Am feeling a bit uncomfortable. Has been staying aloof nowadays. Lisa can really talk, she shared a lot spiritual insight with me. We left the place earlier- fetching her back Vistana. She's very happy- keep on thanking me for the hospitality. Well, know a new friend.
6.14pm Wed evening. Still in the office- waiting for Lisa to call to confirm on tonites' dinner venue. Just now management meeting, heard that Mr. Koh's wife met accident, so he went off early- therefore Ivan conduct the meeting. Not much of discussion going on. Matron Teoh, Matron Lim and Dr. George bombarded me to help Casualty on drug dispensing- trying to pressure Pharmacy to open longer hours. Am quiet, don't know how to stand for the department- Thank God Ivan sided me- give a neutral opinion, to think out of box and see things in bigger picture- to evaluate the data, on the cost effectiveness. Pharmacy Department wrking well I guess. Toh brought up an issue on putting more staff during Sunday, is there a need- when they can't furnish me with data? Has been hearing the staff grumbling of stress and high work load. But how about the low time when people are chatting away? Lord- grant me Your wisdom in this matter- hw to resolve this. I plan to do a spot-check this Sunday- will miss the Easter celebration- will attend Saturday service, and Sunday plan to go hospital, see how busy we are.
Yesterday is a PH. Mum joined my friends for Youth Park Hike. Surprisingly, she's so fit, can climb and reach the destination faster than us. She enjoyed herself, yeah... The rest of the group climbed up to Pg Hill, but we did not join. We only reach No-3# and later on hike down to hv breakfast opposite Ping Hwa High school, then later to bank to deposit my cheque, then head back home. Reached home collapsed on the coach, fall asleep in the midst of watching Da Vinci Code by RBC. So tired, wake up have lunch- then bath and continue Da VinciCode- Fact or Fiction. Later on do some paper work on documents for Income Tax, then time's up to fetch Lisa from airport.
7.50pm Airport. Meet up with Lisa- we had dinner at Hakka Mee Stall. Had quite a long chat. To my surprise, Lisa been so opened to me, she shared a lot on her past relationship, on the requirement topray for a life partner. I was so surprise how she can share this personal issue with me even tho' we're quite newly meet. The first question she asked during the dinner: "So..have you meet your Adam?". Oh dear...I was kinda uncomfortable discussion on relationship issue, yet she brought up this personal question. She said that on her way to Penang, she just feel that she wanna share on relationship. I'm not sure- whether is it God sending her to tell me something? Yes, I do praying for a life partner, but am not earnestly pray. Lisa said, you got to earnestly pray and list down your critera to God, so that when the right person come along the way, then God will help you to be sensitive to receive it. I disagree. I have my set of criteria, but to list it down specifically one by one to God- I don't think it's necessary. It's like limiting God and positioning myself in desperate moment. Well, I wonder through am I desperate? What is the level of my desperation? I listen to the DVD by Ps Prince from Singapore about finding right partner- that desperation will bring us to settle for any. Oh No! I don't want to come to the situation which I'm settling for anyone- Tom Dick and Harry, No Lord- He knows my heart. Some of the sharing do ring some truth, in positioning to receive the "Right'" one when it comes, yet the issue of "Right" one..I'm not pretty agree. I don't believe in one and only right one, and when I miss it means I'll get the second best. I believe of God have our best interest at heart, and He will wants to give the best- as compatible to us, when it seems fit- only if we incline to Him. Incline and yeilding to Him, yet be discern and sensitive of His leading and understanding our own self. I don't know- I've been praying, but am I earnestly pray? What's the meaning- earnestly? How earnestly? Everyday bangging on heaven's door and ask God to give me a life partner? No- course not, pray for God to work on the person- in passion and purity, in His right time, we will meet. And let His peace guard my heart- with assurance of His love and promises. I believe God knows best my heart, and I don't think to list down every single details from A-Zs is a good idea- I'm not limiting God, I'm trusting Him, my Abba Father. Sometimes it's not easy, pressure do comes, yet got to surrender the heart. My prayer is Lord, guard my heart- for it's the well spring of life. Let me not simply give my heart to anyone, not anyone- close it tight, and surrender to You, and You will open my heart when it's the right time, to the right person...Right person? Hmm...you know best, I know best, somehow we will know.
After dinner- Lisa joined my frens Bday party at Hidden Cafe- wow, such long table, I think got about 20 over people. I introduce Lisa to Roland, and Marcus sitting beside me, and others. It's Helena's birthday- Felix was around too, but has not been talking to him for long. Am feeling a bit uncomfortable. Has been staying aloof nowadays. Lisa can really talk, she shared a lot spiritual insight with me. We left the place earlier- fetching her back Vistana. She's very happy- keep on thanking me for the hospitality. Well, know a new friend.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
To Hilton with Love...
8th April 2006,
Saturday- 2.20pm half day work. Yesterday was on-leave, wake up 11am, eat and listen to DVD by Ps Kong Hee about Finding Your Right Partner. Sleep again, listen again- almost whole day to finish the 8 CDs. Then evening went to church for Condensed World Mission Course (Chapter 4).
Has been away from work for whole week, Sunday to Friday. ISOPP X is International Symposium of Oncology Pharmacy Practice. It's the 10th International Symposium, usually held it once in 4 years time, and the next one after this will be in Michigan USA. This year held in Asean- Kuala Lumpur. Overall ISOPP X is good- a lot of the topics is very much technical. The participants were from all over the world- from Malaysia to USA, Greece, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Thailand...all over. The topics very much deep, I think my knowledge and practice is not up to date. Overall alright, quite balance. Got to spend time with Ms. Chua from Fatimah Hospital in Ipoh, and got to fellowship with Ms Chen from Adventist. Heard they're getting another Oncologist from Oversea, and starting CDR soon. My Oncologist, Dr Leong also attend the seminar, actually this is meant for Pharmacist but he also join. Later on he asked me a lot abt our current CDR, giving all sort of comments. Well, this Dr talk a lot, I just nod my head and listen to him only. Had some bad experience wth him, but it's just work- overall he's still okie, doctor just doing his job.
My trip in Hilton has been a wonderful. I've done something I never had been doing before, quite bold yet not enough discernment. Not wise, very risky, but my instinct prove me right- it's okie. Some nice memories to capture and I'll remember it. Got to know a friend, going for 2 movies- Shaggy Dog- was really nice- I love it, another Inside Man, okie but a bit deep, can't really appreciate the storyline. I attended Sun evening church- Ps. Jayakumar spoke about Ps 23: 1-4 The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want. Also join Cell Group, nice combination of people- lengthy sharing tho'. Wht's the impression- childlike and simple. The lesson shared was on Abunance Blessing from God. What it means to be comple/whole. What does wholeness mean? How are we positioning ourselves to receive the blessing from God? Some shared about John 15, the Vine and branches, a few scriptures on walking with the Spirit. I remember I shared in Cell about this- He increased and we decrease. More of God, more of the Spirit and less of Flesh. How to walk in step with the Spirit. To positioning ourselves for abundance- grace upon grace, the outpouring of blessing God intended for His children. How's our attitude to receive that? Good sharing- we end really late 11.30pm, but ok-lah, quite similar to our CG.
From Sun-Thurs meeting up with Kawai, mixed feeling- a little scare, and happy. Due to my emotion and my deficiency, I'm afraid I will unconciously grow attached to the friendship and spoilt it in the future. Asking the Lord to guard my heart for it's the well spring of life. To keep watch of my steps and action. Thank God for a wonderful friend- yet there're something I need to be careful and aware of- Platonic Relationship, will that be possible between different sexes? I used to think it's possible, but now I don't think so, because somehow someday someone might cross the line.
Hilton will surely be a good memories, and it's saddening to leave and to end, yet- somehow someday my wish and hope that this will remain true and lasting...only if God wills!
Saturday- 2.20pm half day work. Yesterday was on-leave, wake up 11am, eat and listen to DVD by Ps Kong Hee about Finding Your Right Partner. Sleep again, listen again- almost whole day to finish the 8 CDs. Then evening went to church for Condensed World Mission Course (Chapter 4).
Has been away from work for whole week, Sunday to Friday. ISOPP X is International Symposium of Oncology Pharmacy Practice. It's the 10th International Symposium, usually held it once in 4 years time, and the next one after this will be in Michigan USA. This year held in Asean- Kuala Lumpur. Overall ISOPP X is good- a lot of the topics is very much technical. The participants were from all over the world- from Malaysia to USA, Greece, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Thailand...all over. The topics very much deep, I think my knowledge and practice is not up to date. Overall alright, quite balance. Got to spend time with Ms. Chua from Fatimah Hospital in Ipoh, and got to fellowship with Ms Chen from Adventist. Heard they're getting another Oncologist from Oversea, and starting CDR soon. My Oncologist, Dr Leong also attend the seminar, actually this is meant for Pharmacist but he also join. Later on he asked me a lot abt our current CDR, giving all sort of comments. Well, this Dr talk a lot, I just nod my head and listen to him only. Had some bad experience wth him, but it's just work- overall he's still okie, doctor just doing his job.
My trip in Hilton has been a wonderful. I've done something I never had been doing before, quite bold yet not enough discernment. Not wise, very risky, but my instinct prove me right- it's okie. Some nice memories to capture and I'll remember it. Got to know a friend, going for 2 movies- Shaggy Dog- was really nice- I love it, another Inside Man, okie but a bit deep, can't really appreciate the storyline. I attended Sun evening church- Ps. Jayakumar spoke about Ps 23: 1-4 The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want. Also join Cell Group, nice combination of people- lengthy sharing tho'. Wht's the impression- childlike and simple. The lesson shared was on Abunance Blessing from God. What it means to be comple/whole. What does wholeness mean? How are we positioning ourselves to receive the blessing from God? Some shared about John 15, the Vine and branches, a few scriptures on walking with the Spirit. I remember I shared in Cell about this- He increased and we decrease. More of God, more of the Spirit and less of Flesh. How to walk in step with the Spirit. To positioning ourselves for abundance- grace upon grace, the outpouring of blessing God intended for His children. How's our attitude to receive that? Good sharing- we end really late 11.30pm, but ok-lah, quite similar to our CG.
From Sun-Thurs meeting up with Kawai, mixed feeling- a little scare, and happy. Due to my emotion and my deficiency, I'm afraid I will unconciously grow attached to the friendship and spoilt it in the future. Asking the Lord to guard my heart for it's the well spring of life. To keep watch of my steps and action. Thank God for a wonderful friend- yet there're something I need to be careful and aware of- Platonic Relationship, will that be possible between different sexes? I used to think it's possible, but now I don't think so, because somehow someday someone might cross the line.
Hilton will surely be a good memories, and it's saddening to leave and to end, yet- somehow someday my wish and hope that this will remain true and lasting...only if God wills!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Psalm 85 Prayer for the Nation
30th March 2006,
1 You showed favor to your land, O LORD; you restored the fortunes of Jacob.
2 You forgave the iniquity of your people and covered all their sins.
3 You set aside all your wrath and turned from your fierce anger.
4 Restore us again, O God our Savior, and put away your displeasure toward us.
5 Will you be angry with us forever? Will you prolong your anger through all generations?
6 Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?
7 Show us your unfailing love, O LORD, and grant us your salvation.
8 I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints— but let them not return to folly.
9 Surely his salvation is near those who fear him, that his glory may dwell in our land.
10 Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other.
11 Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven.
12 The LORD will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest.
13 Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps.
Yesterday Combined Churches Prayer Rally at Fettes Park Baptist Church. It's good time of prayer, and I'm personally encouraged by the response and the prayer itself. We prayed based on Ps 85, start with repentance, prayer of restoration and ask God for personal revival of Faith, Hope and Passion. It's timely message. I'm touched, God has been so good- He has blessed us continually and being so patience with His children. We are like sheep has gone astray, each of us turning our own separate way. We hv missed Him, many times...with our personal agenda, how we build our own house, and pursue of the world. We have somehow lost the real meaning and purpose of our existance. With CWMC that I've learned and challenged on mission and sharing love to others.
I was just wondering and reflecting my life. Have I been a blessing in my workplace? Am I being a good subordinate and colleagues, am I a good boss? am I am a good employer to GMC? How is my encounter with others, my relationship, what Jesus trying to teach the disciple on "people perspective"...a glabal issue, am I faithful in that? What about pride? Hv I been proud in my own understanding and human wisdom and effort? How about spiritual pride? How is the measure of my love for Him?
Father....help me, let me decrease and You increase, work in me daily. Every day...that I will grow from strength to strength and from glory to glory. May I reflect your goodness, that my life will not be a shame to Your Name but to bring Glory to You. Not by might nor by power, but by Your Spirit. Thats' why we need of Your Spirit to work in us. Work in Your own special way...Amen!
1 You showed favor to your land, O LORD; you restored the fortunes of Jacob.
2 You forgave the iniquity of your people and covered all their sins.
3 You set aside all your wrath and turned from your fierce anger.
4 Restore us again, O God our Savior, and put away your displeasure toward us.
5 Will you be angry with us forever? Will you prolong your anger through all generations?
6 Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?
7 Show us your unfailing love, O LORD, and grant us your salvation.
8 I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints— but let them not return to folly.
9 Surely his salvation is near those who fear him, that his glory may dwell in our land.
10 Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other.
11 Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven.
12 The LORD will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest.
13 Righteousness goes before him and prepares the way for his steps.
Yesterday Combined Churches Prayer Rally at Fettes Park Baptist Church. It's good time of prayer, and I'm personally encouraged by the response and the prayer itself. We prayed based on Ps 85, start with repentance, prayer of restoration and ask God for personal revival of Faith, Hope and Passion. It's timely message. I'm touched, God has been so good- He has blessed us continually and being so patience with His children. We are like sheep has gone astray, each of us turning our own separate way. We hv missed Him, many times...with our personal agenda, how we build our own house, and pursue of the world. We have somehow lost the real meaning and purpose of our existance. With CWMC that I've learned and challenged on mission and sharing love to others.
I was just wondering and reflecting my life. Have I been a blessing in my workplace? Am I being a good subordinate and colleagues, am I a good boss? am I am a good employer to GMC? How is my encounter with others, my relationship, what Jesus trying to teach the disciple on "people perspective"...a glabal issue, am I faithful in that? What about pride? Hv I been proud in my own understanding and human wisdom and effort? How about spiritual pride? How is the measure of my love for Him?
Father....help me, let me decrease and You increase, work in me daily. Every day...that I will grow from strength to strength and from glory to glory. May I reflect your goodness, that my life will not be a shame to Your Name but to bring Glory to You. Not by might nor by power, but by Your Spirit. Thats' why we need of Your Spirit to work in us. Work in Your own special way...Amen!
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Condensed World Mission Course
25th March 2006,
1.38pm Saturday afternoon. It's time to go back, stayed to clear my documents. A lot new product insert and materials don't have the time to read- a quick browse through and dump the materials in the dustbins, or else at the end of the year my desk will full of papers and journals. Not feeling well today, knew it, last night have not been feeling well. For the pass few days has been having headache, at the rising of the dawm has been feeling the pain. Now am having flu and fever, took Redoxon in the morning before go to church. This morning went for leader's prayer in church- 6.30am. Today is the 7th day of the Prayer and Fasting week- the focus is on Overcoming with Love. The status of the heart- to love, to release unforgiveness, to be effective in the Ministry. A recheck of the heart status. How is my heart condition spiritually? Has it been charged up with the WOG and love of God? How is my reaction when others said something bad about me, or how would be my response if ppl unintentionally hurt me? How would I react on that? It's surface from the matter of the heart. Yes, how true ...
CWMC- 3rd Chapter yesterday;
1st Chapter is about God, His plan and purpose. The see the centrality of God in the study of mission, how it all begin. About the Bible as love story book- shown how God loves us and wants His people to love know Him through the Word, and loves Him voluntarily in return. The display of His love- revealing of His plan and purpose for us: Redemptive purpose and Kingdom purpose. Understanding the purpose frm the incidence of Babel and it's significant to the mission.
2nd Chapter is about Israel, the covenet people. Much saying about the OT, to see Israel's obligation, opportunity and response in reaching out. Cover on Abrahamic covenant which relate to The Great Commision. Realise how the Lord want to bless us to be a blessing, biblically stated as topline and bottomline blessing. To see Jonah's response in depth and how that relate to us, how have we slacked in just wanting blessing and denying the responsibilities.
3rd Chapter is about the 3M's: Messiah, Message and Messagers, how it related, with the mystery revealed, Messiah- who is He, how it speaks about the message, and the importance of being a messangers for the Kingdom of God. Realising the main mission of church in this interim period, from the 1st coming to the 2nd coming of Christ. Exposed to the 'twinkle twinle' story in Matthew 4, how Jesus answered to the Canaanite women that plead to heal the daughter- which describe on the association of giving breads to dogs, and the bread that's frm the table- how it relate to the different message Jesus wants the disciple to learn. A training for his disciple.
Tonite will be Breakthrough Nite, by Apostle Brown. Don't know what to expect. Have been going for a lot breakthrough nite, yet still ant to believe God is working through breakthrough. His presence, just long for His presence and to come with expectant heart, allowing God to work in us. His Spirit work in the hearts of His people. This time gonna be something different, are we hungry? God will surely move, whether we want it or not. He will surely move, but are we ready to allow Him to 'bang' in our hearts, and inhabit in our being? The willingness and openess, the 'unlearned' and relearne on His Word.
O Daddy, Thank You that for You are the ever symbol of love. Thank You for Your Words and ministering, thank You for the work You're doing, and continuously working. Prepare my heart, Lord I prepare my heart to receive from You, the touch. Just one glimpse, just one drink and my soul will satisfied. As the songs read:
Lord I come, take my life
I offer up to You a living sacrifice
By Your love, By your Grace
I come into the Holy of Holies
All I wanna do
Is dwell in Your Presence
Drink from Your well
that never runs dry
All I wanna see
is the Light of Your Glory
Just one glimpse
Just one drink
and my Soul will satisfy
Longing for Your touch, Father let it be the cries of the heart of Your people, that come longing for You, missing You, longing for You Lord- Let Your annointing flow, work thru' miracles, that Your people will be set free, free to love You, worship You, and to want more of You. Father have Your way, We surrender- work Your way, not our way. it's Yours Lord, You minister, Your glory be magnified, praise You Father....
Father, create me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me. That I will coem into Your presence in childlikeness, that my mind will be free to worship you, to learn from You, to relearn all from You Lord. I hungry for You Father- work in me tonite I pray, Amen!
1.38pm Saturday afternoon. It's time to go back, stayed to clear my documents. A lot new product insert and materials don't have the time to read- a quick browse through and dump the materials in the dustbins, or else at the end of the year my desk will full of papers and journals. Not feeling well today, knew it, last night have not been feeling well. For the pass few days has been having headache, at the rising of the dawm has been feeling the pain. Now am having flu and fever, took Redoxon in the morning before go to church. This morning went for leader's prayer in church- 6.30am. Today is the 7th day of the Prayer and Fasting week- the focus is on Overcoming with Love. The status of the heart- to love, to release unforgiveness, to be effective in the Ministry. A recheck of the heart status. How is my heart condition spiritually? Has it been charged up with the WOG and love of God? How is my reaction when others said something bad about me, or how would be my response if ppl unintentionally hurt me? How would I react on that? It's surface from the matter of the heart. Yes, how true ...
CWMC- 3rd Chapter yesterday;
1st Chapter is about God, His plan and purpose. The see the centrality of God in the study of mission, how it all begin. About the Bible as love story book- shown how God loves us and wants His people to love know Him through the Word, and loves Him voluntarily in return. The display of His love- revealing of His plan and purpose for us: Redemptive purpose and Kingdom purpose. Understanding the purpose frm the incidence of Babel and it's significant to the mission.
2nd Chapter is about Israel, the covenet people. Much saying about the OT, to see Israel's obligation, opportunity and response in reaching out. Cover on Abrahamic covenant which relate to The Great Commision. Realise how the Lord want to bless us to be a blessing, biblically stated as topline and bottomline blessing. To see Jonah's response in depth and how that relate to us, how have we slacked in just wanting blessing and denying the responsibilities.
3rd Chapter is about the 3M's: Messiah, Message and Messagers, how it related, with the mystery revealed, Messiah- who is He, how it speaks about the message, and the importance of being a messangers for the Kingdom of God. Realising the main mission of church in this interim period, from the 1st coming to the 2nd coming of Christ. Exposed to the 'twinkle twinle' story in Matthew 4, how Jesus answered to the Canaanite women that plead to heal the daughter- which describe on the association of giving breads to dogs, and the bread that's frm the table- how it relate to the different message Jesus wants the disciple to learn. A training for his disciple.
Tonite will be Breakthrough Nite, by Apostle Brown. Don't know what to expect. Have been going for a lot breakthrough nite, yet still ant to believe God is working through breakthrough. His presence, just long for His presence and to come with expectant heart, allowing God to work in us. His Spirit work in the hearts of His people. This time gonna be something different, are we hungry? God will surely move, whether we want it or not. He will surely move, but are we ready to allow Him to 'bang' in our hearts, and inhabit in our being? The willingness and openess, the 'unlearned' and relearne on His Word.
O Daddy, Thank You that for You are the ever symbol of love. Thank You for Your Words and ministering, thank You for the work You're doing, and continuously working. Prepare my heart, Lord I prepare my heart to receive from You, the touch. Just one glimpse, just one drink and my soul will satisfied. As the songs read:
Lord I come, take my life
I offer up to You a living sacrifice
By Your love, By your Grace
I come into the Holy of Holies
All I wanna do
Is dwell in Your Presence
Drink from Your well
that never runs dry
All I wanna see
is the Light of Your Glory
Just one glimpse
Just one drink
and my Soul will satisfy
Longing for Your touch, Father let it be the cries of the heart of Your people, that come longing for You, missing You, longing for You Lord- Let Your annointing flow, work thru' miracles, that Your people will be set free, free to love You, worship You, and to want more of You. Father have Your way, We surrender- work Your way, not our way. it's Yours Lord, You minister, Your glory be magnified, praise You Father....
Father, create me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me. That I will coem into Your presence in childlikeness, that my mind will be free to worship you, to learn from You, to relearn all from You Lord. I hungry for You Father- work in me tonite I pray, Amen!
Monday, March 20, 2006
ESMS Training
20th March 2006,
6.30pm Monday evening. Today whole day I was in the Lecture Hall for training. Magdalene went with me. The training is on "Effective Supervisory and Managerial Skill"- basically for the HODs, Executives and Supervisors, relevant to our job scope. The trainer is Mr HK Hin, very vocal person, and very experience in giving training to a lot multinational company like Jabil, and Motorola. He was formerly from Motorola and shared with us a lot of his experience dealing with production, and leadership. A lot of the examples of the effective leadership that he addressed, which inspired us. Quite a number of participants attend the course, and tomorrow will be Part II of the long hours training. I did learned a lot from him, about leadership- and it's very much inspiring to hear his experiences. It's basically a motivational training, and it's definitely very effective if we to apply it in our management, yet- there're others area of concerns which not able to work practically. He talk about situational leadership and flexibility- very inspiring and he was saying about changing the mindset, positive thinking. It's all begin at the mindset, and it's the brain. He mention about we're not to live on fate, success is by how we wanna put effort, how the brains work- we can change things. He list down the 7 habits of effective leadership. Inspiring. I wonder if he's a Christian.
Christian working in the world system. How should be our value system. A lot of motivational courses, yet Christian are following on Christ as our role model. To be effective as Christian in secular world, Ro12 - Not to be confront to the standard of the world but to be transform in renewing of our mind, to know the perfect will of God. How do we depends on God, as our role model in dealing with people in workplace, being effective and successful leaders? A lot of motivational speaker quote on motivational books- such as Stephen Covey, Anthony Robin, and other successful stories of successful people- how the mindset and thinking. It's good, but I don't usually fancy or chase after motivational class. A lot good inputs, good inspiring training, but still to put it into practice, application is the most important thing. As for this course, yes- I realise relationship with people, interpersonal relationship is the area which I'm lacking, and I got to really push myself out of the limitation to relate to my staff, to care for them- to communicate with them. Push out of my limitation. ...got to, and will try to. I try, God helps.
6.30pm Monday evening. Today whole day I was in the Lecture Hall for training. Magdalene went with me. The training is on "Effective Supervisory and Managerial Skill"- basically for the HODs, Executives and Supervisors, relevant to our job scope. The trainer is Mr HK Hin, very vocal person, and very experience in giving training to a lot multinational company like Jabil, and Motorola. He was formerly from Motorola and shared with us a lot of his experience dealing with production, and leadership. A lot of the examples of the effective leadership that he addressed, which inspired us. Quite a number of participants attend the course, and tomorrow will be Part II of the long hours training. I did learned a lot from him, about leadership- and it's very much inspiring to hear his experiences. It's basically a motivational training, and it's definitely very effective if we to apply it in our management, yet- there're others area of concerns which not able to work practically. He talk about situational leadership and flexibility- very inspiring and he was saying about changing the mindset, positive thinking. It's all begin at the mindset, and it's the brain. He mention about we're not to live on fate, success is by how we wanna put effort, how the brains work- we can change things. He list down the 7 habits of effective leadership. Inspiring. I wonder if he's a Christian.
Christian working in the world system. How should be our value system. A lot of motivational courses, yet Christian are following on Christ as our role model. To be effective as Christian in secular world, Ro12 - Not to be confront to the standard of the world but to be transform in renewing of our mind, to know the perfect will of God. How do we depends on God, as our role model in dealing with people in workplace, being effective and successful leaders? A lot of motivational speaker quote on motivational books- such as Stephen Covey, Anthony Robin, and other successful stories of successful people- how the mindset and thinking. It's good, but I don't usually fancy or chase after motivational class. A lot good inputs, good inspiring training, but still to put it into practice, application is the most important thing. As for this course, yes- I realise relationship with people, interpersonal relationship is the area which I'm lacking, and I got to really push myself out of the limitation to relate to my staff, to care for them- to communicate with them. Push out of my limitation. ...got to, and will try to. I try, God helps.
Friday, March 17, 2006
We help, God heals...
17th March 2006,
6.20pm Fri evening. Doing blog before packing off straight to church. Today has been okie, work normal. Tomorrow myself and Magdalene will be going to City Bayview for Diabetes Management workshop for whole day, so the pharmacy left Charmine to be in charged. She has hand in resignation letter and her last day will be another 3 months from now. She has been really good help to me, and surely I'll miss her a whole lot.
Just now went to see Dr Leong, give him see aunts' clinical report on the CA. She was diagnosed with colon cancer metastasis to liver, and according to my cousin doctor in Adventist Hospital said there's no hope, no curative treatment available. I seek Dr. Leong's opinion, he said yes, can be treated, probably to prolong survival but not curative. Sadden by this, life goes on. What are we doing about this? As Christian...other than praying. I told Shanice, we will be praying for aunty, take heart. As I look back, we're not pretty close with the relative, only get together occasionally, weddings, funerals, birth. Other than that none, nothing much. Press on praying- do as much as I can to help. I do believe that God heals, Jesus heals. Even though I'm in medical line, and what I've been learning about diseases progression and drugs and treatment, but I believe strongly God heals.
It reflect back the scenario of how dad struggled fighting the cancer. Another question is whether is it that we lack of faith that resulted dad not healed? Or it's unforgiveness in his heart? At that point, I wonder...really really wondering- God, we prayed through, we shed tears, we pressed on, we unite our heart through as family. Church prayed, daddy prayed. He prayed, daddy really press on, and he dependant on God- he struggled yet he keep holding on to God, till the last breath, his last word " The Lord is my Lord and Saviour". That's the last word I ever hear from his mouth before he back with the Lord. Daddy is now with God, enjoying the splendor and majesty. I miss him so much, thinking about him can just make me shed my tears. Deep in my heart still engraved the memories, of the time we pressed on, but God did not heal Daddy. But He's still healer, yes- He heals, Jehovah Rophi, the Healer. How is my faith this time as I stand in the gap to pray for aunt? The Lord gives and He takes away, Blessed be the Name of the Lord. Trust Him, O little Faith, trust Him. He is able!
6.20pm Fri evening. Doing blog before packing off straight to church. Today has been okie, work normal. Tomorrow myself and Magdalene will be going to City Bayview for Diabetes Management workshop for whole day, so the pharmacy left Charmine to be in charged. She has hand in resignation letter and her last day will be another 3 months from now. She has been really good help to me, and surely I'll miss her a whole lot.
Just now went to see Dr Leong, give him see aunts' clinical report on the CA. She was diagnosed with colon cancer metastasis to liver, and according to my cousin doctor in Adventist Hospital said there's no hope, no curative treatment available. I seek Dr. Leong's opinion, he said yes, can be treated, probably to prolong survival but not curative. Sadden by this, life goes on. What are we doing about this? As Christian...other than praying. I told Shanice, we will be praying for aunty, take heart. As I look back, we're not pretty close with the relative, only get together occasionally, weddings, funerals, birth. Other than that none, nothing much. Press on praying- do as much as I can to help. I do believe that God heals, Jesus heals. Even though I'm in medical line, and what I've been learning about diseases progression and drugs and treatment, but I believe strongly God heals.
It reflect back the scenario of how dad struggled fighting the cancer. Another question is whether is it that we lack of faith that resulted dad not healed? Or it's unforgiveness in his heart? At that point, I wonder...really really wondering- God, we prayed through, we shed tears, we pressed on, we unite our heart through as family. Church prayed, daddy prayed. He prayed, daddy really press on, and he dependant on God- he struggled yet he keep holding on to God, till the last breath, his last word " The Lord is my Lord and Saviour". That's the last word I ever hear from his mouth before he back with the Lord. Daddy is now with God, enjoying the splendor and majesty. I miss him so much, thinking about him can just make me shed my tears. Deep in my heart still engraved the memories, of the time we pressed on, but God did not heal Daddy. But He's still healer, yes- He heals, Jehovah Rophi, the Healer. How is my faith this time as I stand in the gap to pray for aunt? The Lord gives and He takes away, Blessed be the Name of the Lord. Trust Him, O little Faith, trust Him. He is able!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Thursday updates
16th March 2006,
Thurs-5.40pm, about time to go back. Today's work has been alright, normal. Phone ringing over whole place. Today Camelia and Valsala work PM, system down again. We're in the midst of changing system, from DOS to Web-based, with the hope that the new system will speed up the operation and helping in report genaration, with more flexibility and more user friendly. Am quite upset with our drug coding today. I suggested to IT not to migrate the old data to new system, especially the obsolete drug code, items which does not move in 3 years, but my Finance Manager argue with me, require all the items to be coded for data migration. Ended up, finally I have to just do the data set. Oh gross..with all the numbers and figure in front of computer whole day has been twisting my mind. Really pray the new system will not give much problem. Anticipating spike here and there when System On-Live this 30th Apr.
Thurs, nothing much at home, will be going back to have dinner wth mum. Later cousin will be having dinner at home too. Have been working on the CWMC 1st Worksheet, it require a lot of readings and homework. Last week was just the 1st lesson, this week will be more of discussion and more involvement among the members. Introductory lesson-about God, God's plan and purpose for the nation, His redemption plan and establishment of His Kingdom. Tomorrow will be more, very comprehensive teaching.
Thurs-5.40pm, about time to go back. Today's work has been alright, normal. Phone ringing over whole place. Today Camelia and Valsala work PM, system down again. We're in the midst of changing system, from DOS to Web-based, with the hope that the new system will speed up the operation and helping in report genaration, with more flexibility and more user friendly. Am quite upset with our drug coding today. I suggested to IT not to migrate the old data to new system, especially the obsolete drug code, items which does not move in 3 years, but my Finance Manager argue with me, require all the items to be coded for data migration. Ended up, finally I have to just do the data set. Oh gross..with all the numbers and figure in front of computer whole day has been twisting my mind. Really pray the new system will not give much problem. Anticipating spike here and there when System On-Live this 30th Apr.
Thurs, nothing much at home, will be going back to have dinner wth mum. Later cousin will be having dinner at home too. Have been working on the CWMC 1st Worksheet, it require a lot of readings and homework. Last week was just the 1st lesson, this week will be more of discussion and more involvement among the members. Introductory lesson-about God, God's plan and purpose for the nation, His redemption plan and establishment of His Kingdom. Tomorrow will be more, very comprehensive teaching.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Avastin Launching - Lighthouse Fellowship
13th March 2006,
5.45pm Monday evening. Time to pack up. Mum got back yesterday night about 8.30pm, I touch down Pg 6.00pm and straight take cab back home. So tired- take 2 hrs nap, frm 6-8pm. Wake up a bit dizzy, yet better. Now still recovering from my panda eyes, got a lot dark circle already...there goes my sleeping beauty.
Attended Avastin launching on Saturday evening- 7pm Quite technical detailing, more suitable for the doctors- too many studies, can't able to remember so much. Expensive drug- RM1588 per-100mg vial, if a person is 60kg, require 3 vials, will be ~RM5K, aduh... Avastin 100mg pervial (Roche), indicating for metastatic colon cancer, what a high cost of treatment. How can people affort this? The launching is just okie, dinner was very late- 9pm till 11.30pm, then meet up with Kok Keong for drink, catching up after so so long. I've not been back for CNY, has not been catching up with old-schoolmate. Then, back hotel, Angie stay with me for a nite. We chatted till 3am ter-sleep off. Wah, that's my night...very much tiring.
6.45am wake up, take breakfast, take cab to SS3. Wondering so "Tai Tam" alone to SS3. Isn't that dangerous to meet the 'wolf'? If real wolf then habis lar. Reached LightHouse Fellowship about 8.30am, wondering is it the right address? How come just a house, he give me wrong address or what? Hmm...called the phone, no answer, oh no, suspend. Ta da...here come the wolf :) Tall, wearing white collared shirt, with proper short trimmed hair- look so serious. Oh dear, is he the one I'm chatting with all this while? Very serious.
Lighthouse Fellowship, small church, not much people, no drum, no keyboard, just guitar. Entering in, sit at the corner all alone. Kawai and Clarine doing pre-worship, practising on worship. Slowly people coming in, think the whole congregation about 30-40 people, small church. EPCC huge, more than hundreds, all fully equipped. The service started with Pr. leading the congregation on declaration and prayer, followed by some songs, then worship. This is my ever first time attending smaller group church, with long service. Start 9am-1pm (4 hours), wow...I wonder EPCC can have such longer service. The worship was great, full of God's annointing- with simple songs, and a guitar alone can have such wonderful worship- that sure be the work of the Holy Spirit, and God's presence is real. He is there...in our midst, He inhabit in the praises of His people, those who worship Him with Spirit and truth. I have not experience much of speaking in tongues in EPCC, I do believe in speaking in tongue, but we don't use much of it. The church move powerfully with the gifts- speaking in tongue. Strong sense of God's presence and anointing. Refreshing. Pr gives word of knowledge, about some issues about mind that's confuse and hurts. Asked the person to come out, I sense a tug in my heart, is He saying tht to me? Not sure, but God's presence is strong, I can sense that.
Pr. Jayakumar Joseph is the speaker. The message talk about "To be Christlike" taken from book of Luke, and also a lot of other Scriptures, untill some of the point I can't catch the Scripture reference. The church very much into Word of God, backed up with Biblical Scripture. Christlikeness, to be like Christ, strong Word. Hindrances- a lot: Discouragement, Fear, Imaginary Minds, World pleasure. I can identify. That show much much we need God, how much we need His Word, how much we need to keep close to Him, in our conduct, words and testimony to be the light, to be Christlike. Pr. message is strong- I can see he's a man of God- strict and with Godly principles. Powerful ministering, releasing God's Word of knowledge. He looks strict, I don't have a chance to even say Hi, or thank him for the message- too bad.
Sfter service, went for lunch with Kawai and chruch members, hot weather, get to knoe Nicole- the pinkiest girl, and cute girl. Need to write this down to capture the memories, or else mayb next time don't see will not remember- a girl that likes Seven-11. After lunch went back church. Hot weather. Have some chat with Kawai and play with the guitar, nice to play. Had been a while since the last time I played in CG, tipu tipu chords. Kawai keep asking me to play- oh dear, very paisey...anyhow manage to start strumming and get a few songs rolling. Enjoy the guitaring session....after this session, I think I got to start make time to practise guitar, no determination. Remember how I spend time in my room back in Pekaka, to pick few worship songs and play- now no more, lost the passion. Sigh! 3.30pm manage to check in in KL Sentral, thank God. Thank Kawai for fetching me to KL Sentral. Tiring trip yet well-spent- getting to know a fren, a small nice church with wonderful people that passionate for God at least encourage my heart to go on. Pr. messange always a challenge, and repentance is not just repentance, but to get out of it, turn away from it, and transform. A challenge, and prayerfully a transformation and breakthrough for my spiritual life.
Reached home so tired, mum back about 9pm, give a bad news- aunt got liver cancer. Reminded me on how daddy struggle thru' the time to fight cancer. A thoughts, O Lord...so many cancers, so many relatives passed away without knowing God- what am I doing at this time? Sms sister about this, she said we got to press on praying- to pray, what else can we do? To pray and do our part when God open opportunity to share of His good news. Watched FlyWheel, touching. Real life story, very practical, down to earth, should be viewed by all. Prayers make a difference. P>U>S>H Push untill something happen. Pray and have faith in God, He will definitely lead us through if we do not loose heart. Intergrity as Christian, in the sinful word, how are we shinning? How are we shinning and standing in Christlikeness? Move towards that, work on our salvation with fear and trembling. God help us!
12am Devotion- Sleep ever so soundly, Monday will definitely will be a great day! Amen! Thank you Lord!
5.45pm Monday evening. Time to pack up. Mum got back yesterday night about 8.30pm, I touch down Pg 6.00pm and straight take cab back home. So tired- take 2 hrs nap, frm 6-8pm. Wake up a bit dizzy, yet better. Now still recovering from my panda eyes, got a lot dark circle already...there goes my sleeping beauty.
Attended Avastin launching on Saturday evening- 7pm Quite technical detailing, more suitable for the doctors- too many studies, can't able to remember so much. Expensive drug- RM1588 per-100mg vial, if a person is 60kg, require 3 vials, will be ~RM5K, aduh... Avastin 100mg pervial (Roche), indicating for metastatic colon cancer, what a high cost of treatment. How can people affort this? The launching is just okie, dinner was very late- 9pm till 11.30pm, then meet up with Kok Keong for drink, catching up after so so long. I've not been back for CNY, has not been catching up with old-schoolmate. Then, back hotel, Angie stay with me for a nite. We chatted till 3am ter-sleep off. Wah, that's my night...very much tiring.
6.45am wake up, take breakfast, take cab to SS3. Wondering so "Tai Tam" alone to SS3. Isn't that dangerous to meet the 'wolf'? If real wolf then habis lar. Reached LightHouse Fellowship about 8.30am, wondering is it the right address? How come just a house, he give me wrong address or what? Hmm...called the phone, no answer, oh no, suspend. Ta da...here come the wolf :) Tall, wearing white collared shirt, with proper short trimmed hair- look so serious. Oh dear, is he the one I'm chatting with all this while? Very serious.
Lighthouse Fellowship, small church, not much people, no drum, no keyboard, just guitar. Entering in, sit at the corner all alone. Kawai and Clarine doing pre-worship, practising on worship. Slowly people coming in, think the whole congregation about 30-40 people, small church. EPCC huge, more than hundreds, all fully equipped. The service started with Pr. leading the congregation on declaration and prayer, followed by some songs, then worship. This is my ever first time attending smaller group church, with long service. Start 9am-1pm (4 hours), wow...I wonder EPCC can have such longer service. The worship was great, full of God's annointing- with simple songs, and a guitar alone can have such wonderful worship- that sure be the work of the Holy Spirit, and God's presence is real. He is there...in our midst, He inhabit in the praises of His people, those who worship Him with Spirit and truth. I have not experience much of speaking in tongues in EPCC, I do believe in speaking in tongue, but we don't use much of it. The church move powerfully with the gifts- speaking in tongue. Strong sense of God's presence and anointing. Refreshing. Pr gives word of knowledge, about some issues about mind that's confuse and hurts. Asked the person to come out, I sense a tug in my heart, is He saying tht to me? Not sure, but God's presence is strong, I can sense that.
Pr. Jayakumar Joseph is the speaker. The message talk about "To be Christlike" taken from book of Luke, and also a lot of other Scriptures, untill some of the point I can't catch the Scripture reference. The church very much into Word of God, backed up with Biblical Scripture. Christlikeness, to be like Christ, strong Word. Hindrances- a lot: Discouragement, Fear, Imaginary Minds, World pleasure. I can identify. That show much much we need God, how much we need His Word, how much we need to keep close to Him, in our conduct, words and testimony to be the light, to be Christlike. Pr. message is strong- I can see he's a man of God- strict and with Godly principles. Powerful ministering, releasing God's Word of knowledge. He looks strict, I don't have a chance to even say Hi, or thank him for the message- too bad.
Sfter service, went for lunch with Kawai and chruch members, hot weather, get to knoe Nicole- the pinkiest girl, and cute girl. Need to write this down to capture the memories, or else mayb next time don't see will not remember- a girl that likes Seven-11. After lunch went back church. Hot weather. Have some chat with Kawai and play with the guitar, nice to play. Had been a while since the last time I played in CG, tipu tipu chords. Kawai keep asking me to play- oh dear, very paisey...anyhow manage to start strumming and get a few songs rolling. Enjoy the guitaring session....after this session, I think I got to start make time to practise guitar, no determination. Remember how I spend time in my room back in Pekaka, to pick few worship songs and play- now no more, lost the passion. Sigh! 3.30pm manage to check in in KL Sentral, thank God. Thank Kawai for fetching me to KL Sentral. Tiring trip yet well-spent- getting to know a fren, a small nice church with wonderful people that passionate for God at least encourage my heart to go on. Pr. messange always a challenge, and repentance is not just repentance, but to get out of it, turn away from it, and transform. A challenge, and prayerfully a transformation and breakthrough for my spiritual life.
Reached home so tired, mum back about 9pm, give a bad news- aunt got liver cancer. Reminded me on how daddy struggle thru' the time to fight cancer. A thoughts, O Lord...so many cancers, so many relatives passed away without knowing God- what am I doing at this time? Sms sister about this, she said we got to press on praying- to pray, what else can we do? To pray and do our part when God open opportunity to share of His good news. Watched FlyWheel, touching. Real life story, very practical, down to earth, should be viewed by all. Prayers make a difference. P>U>S>H Push untill something happen. Pray and have faith in God, He will definitely lead us through if we do not loose heart. Intergrity as Christian, in the sinful word, how are we shinning? How are we shinning and standing in Christlikeness? Move towards that, work on our salvation with fear and trembling. God help us!
12am Devotion- Sleep ever so soundly, Monday will definitely will be a great day! Amen! Thank you Lord!
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